internetmessiah:

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

(via screw-unicorn)

movsi:

*puts snapchat text over area of insecurity* 

(via sailorprivncess)

iamwizz:

The year is 2060. iPhone 842 is released. The screen touches you

(via ugly)

amlsh:

when ur teacher purposely calls on u when u weren’t paying attention and you got the answer right:

image

(via screw-unicorn)

doctorwhothefuckisthis:

gleak:

if you a catfish sit the fuck down and reevaluate your life

image

(via bongs-and-bibles)